A Woman’s Guide for Getting Over a Breakup

While getting over a breakup requires time, patience, and deep soul-searching, the right guidance can make the process smoother and easier.

Breakups are never easy, especially when the relationship was strong and meaningful.

The pain that comes with breaking up takes time to heal, but there are many things you can do to channel your negative emotions into something productive that will help you move on and eventually find peace.

Therefore, in order to get over a breakup in the healthiest way possible, here are some tips you can use:

Accept There Isn’t a Cheat Sheet to Getting Over a Breakup

Scrolling online for useful tips on how to get over a breakup can point you in the right direction, but it’s important to remember that there isn’t a cheat sheet to getting over a breakup and that watching a 15-minute YouTube video or reading a few articles like this one doesn’t mean that you will be healed in a day.

This is important because we often tend to give up and withdraw to our comfort zone when the going gets tough, and this can be detrimental to our healing because it prevents us from truly grappling with our feelings and overcoming them in a healthy way.

By giving up so soon and because the tips we read or heard weren’t working quickly enough, we may miss out on the opportunity to do the deep work required for true growth and understanding.

Therefore, it is important to remember that taking the time and having patience with yourself while you get over your breakup is essential.

This also means admitting that there will be good days and bad days, but that overall, you are making an effort to heal, and that is something to be proud of.

It’s also important to know that you don’t have to rush this process – it’s ok to take your time and process your emotions in whatever way works best for you so that eventually when the time is right, you can move on.

Cut Ties

While it may be difficult, cutting ties with your ex is imperative in order to move on in a healthy way.

This means having the maturity and respect to not reach out to them on social media or contact them directly in any way.

This is important because it gives you the space to process your emotions and move on with life without the added distraction of communicating with them.

Additionally, seeing each other after breaking up will not only prolong your healing process and perhaps even give your ex false hope and encourage them to think that you could get back together again, but it also increases the possibility of anger and frustration building up between the two of you, resulting in ending the relationship in a bitter and resentful way.

This is why cutting ties entirely is essential, even if that means avoiding people or places where your ex might be.

While remaining on civil or even good terms with your ex is important for your mental health and growth, it is also important to remember that your well-being and peace of mind come first, so if that means keeping yourself away from them, then that is the best course of action for you.

Rediscover Old Interests

Getting a new hobby is something many women do after a breakup; however, getting into something new may throw you off a little bit and cause you to fall off the wagon of committing yourself, especially if you don’t find it as interesting or fulfilling.

Instead, try rediscovering old interests you used to enjoy but stopped doing due to a lack of time or access.

This can be anything from playing music, participating in sports, or even something as simple as reading a book, which can be a good distraction from the negative thoughts caused by a breakup.

Limit Your Time on Social Media

Social media can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, but it’s important to limit your time on it after a breakup.

Why? Because any time that is spent on social media can be quickly filled with stalking your ex or scrolling through their posts, which can be a very unhealthy and unproductive practice.

Therefore, if you find yourself spending too much time obsessing, make a conscious decision to limit your social media usage and instead use that time for something more productive, like journaling or doing a hobby.

If, on the other hand, you find yourself unable to stop checking your ex’s page, then consider taking a digital detox altogether and deactivating your social media accounts for as long as necessary to give yourself the space needed to heal and move on.

Surround Yourself With Supportive People

Surrounding yourself with supportive people can help you gain perspective during a difficult time and remind you that you are not alone.

Whether leaning on a family member or a good friend, having someone to talk to that you can trust and confide in can be an invaluable tool to help you work through your feelings.

However, while having someone close can help you through your healing, remember that no matter how much you want to hear a few encouraging words, avoid allowing the people in your circle to enable you.

While they may feel like they are helping, their advice might not work for you and your unique situation, so instead of being uncomfortable and feeling like you have to do what they say, remember that, ultimately, you are the one in control of your future and it’s best to take their advice as an observation rather than a directive.

A more productive way to spend time with the people in your life is by doing activities that serve as a positive distraction that would take your mind away from depressive thoughts about your breakup.

Take a (Realistic) Walk Down Memory Lane

Going through a breakup can often go from feeling like you’ve lost the most valuable person in your life to wondering why you were with this person in the first place.

And it’s not uncommon for these emotions to come to your mind one after the other, which can be incredibly overwhelming.

This is why you must take a realistic walk down memory lane and see things from both sides.

Think about the fights, the good and bad moments, the highs and lows, and try to gain perspective, as this will help you be more objective and accepting of the situation.

Additionally, looking back on your relationship will help you avoid making the same old mistakes in future relationships but can also help you identify patterns in future relationships that can save you time and heartache.

Don’t Trash-Talk Your Ex

Trash-talking your ex can not only be a way for you to develop an unhealthy obsession, bitterness, and frustration with them, which are emotions that won’t serve you since the person is no longer in your life, but can also put you in a very uncomfortable situation with your friends and the people in your circle.

You must remember that no matter how much the people who support you want you to get better, nobody wants to hear about how terrible your ex is whenever you’re out with them.

It’s incredibly disrespectful to your friends to center the conversation around your failed relationship and make them feel that talking about anything else would be an insult to your pain.

This can make people uncomfortable and eventually hurt relationships, as no matter how supportive someone might be, being uncomfortable is never fun to endure.

Additionally, don’t forget that people gossip, and you don’t want to put yourself in a situation where not being able to hold the words coming out of your mouth could negatively impact your reputation in the future.

Instead of speaking badly about the person you formerly shared so much with, try to keep conversations with your friends and family respectful, as they’re the people who want to see you heal in a healthy way.


Writing can be an excellent way to let out all the emotions you may be feeling, as it can help you process the breakup in a way that can create a sense of closure.

However, many of us have a hard time putting our thoughts into words, so if you prefer to draw or paint, for example, feel free to use any creative outlet.

Alternatively, if you find it hard to write about your emotions, try to set up a scene by adding fictional characters, a period, or a place where you want your scene to develop.

Then, you can write about the emotions that these characters are feeling and how they deal with them, and you can even give them background stories that may or may not be related to yours and develop them in ways that help you to understand your own emotions better.

This exercise is a great way to gain perspective, as you can make the characters in your story take any action that you’re considering but might be a little scared to take for yourself.

Additionally, you can also have them deal with the consequences of taking these actions, which can make you reconsider your choices by giving you a better insight into how you would be affected by them.

Make a Self-Love List

Ending a relationship can make you feel insecure and increase your self-doubt, which is why a great way to rebuild yourself after a breakup is by writing down all the things you love about yourself to remind yourself of all the qualities that make you unique.

Creating this list might feel daunting at first, but once you get started, it will become easier and even fun.

Therefore, when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, take out a piece of paper and jot down all the things that you love about yourself.

These can include anything from punctuality and organization to cooking and fashion, or even more abstract concepts such as creativity, ambition, and leadership.

Having all these qualities written down in front of you will help motivate you to focus on all the amazing things about yourself, and it will also remind you that even though your relationship with your ex has ended, your relationship with yourself is still alive and thriving.

Make a Self-Improvement List

While a self-love list may help lift your spirits and remind you of what you have to offer, it’s also important to acknowledge the areas that need improvement.

This is especially true when dealing with a breakup, as it’s easy to forget the lessons you should be learning from all that has happened.

For this reason, along with your self-love list, create a self-improvement list that focuses on the things you can work on in order to better yourself.

This list can include anything from developing better communication skills, building healthier relationships, becoming more organized, taking a class in something you’ve always wanted to learn, or even learning the basics of a foreign language.

Focusing on these goals will help keep you busy and motivated to learn something new and help you become a better version of yourself in the process.

Avoid Toxic Lifestyle Habits

Painful breakups can be the perfect excuse to turn to unhealthy habits, like drinking too much, smoking, or eating excessively.

However, this can be a dangerous cycle if these behaviors become a regular part of your routine, as not only will they have a negative impact on your physical health in the short term, but they could also have long-term consequences that could potentially prevent you from living a fulfilling life.

Therefore, relying on someone you can trust or opting for professional help, such as talking to a therapist if you feel overwhelmed, are both excellent solutions as they can help you to find healthy coping mechanisms and better understand the emotions you’re going through.

Commit to Improving Your Diet

In addition to avoiding unhealthy lifestyle habits, a breakup can be the perfect opportunity to make healthier food choices.

Not only do nutritious meals provide your body with the vitamins and minerals it needs, but they also help improve your mood and give you more energy to take on new challenges.

Additionally, coming up with unique recipes and experimenting with flavors is a great way to express yourself through cooking and making the most of your time, which could not only keep you busy and help you channel any negative emotions but also lead to some interesting culinary discoveries.

Change Your Wardrobe

We often adopt certain styles of dressing in a relationship because hearing our partner say how great we look is a nice feeling.

However, when this relationship ends, it can be challenging to go back to the clothes that make us feel most comfortable, and this is often the time when many of us realize we don’t even like our clothes that much and that we actually need a change.

Therefore, now is the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe with pieces that reflect your new independent lifestyle and make you look and feel great.

Do your research into different styles on social media platforms like TikTok or even Pinterest, as this can help spark some ideas for you on assembling a new wardrobe.

Remember that by embracing a style that is uniquely yours, you’ll be sure to look fantastic and eliminate any lingering feelings of sadness or regret.

Don’t Engage in Flings

This one should go without saying, but unfortunately, many women fall into the trap of thinking that a fling is the best way to move on from a relationship.

Flings, rebounds, one-night stands, what have you, don’t work in real life the way they do in the movies, even though they are relentlessly promoted as a “healthy” way to get over someone.

These situations can be confusing and very uncomfortable, as you are essentially sleeping with someone to fill the void of your ex, which is disrespectful and can create further hurt and confusion.

You know you won’t be able to build a meaningful connection with someone you don’t care about, yet engaging in such an intimate act with them can make you feel like you should pursue something when in reality, you likely don’t know much about this person, which can make you susceptible to a broken heart once again.

Additionally, and besides being disrespectful to the person you’re getting involved with, it’s also disrespectful to yourself and your own emotions, as finding someone that doesn’t want anything but sex with you can make you feel used and unimportant, no matter how great the sex may be.

Therefore, it is best to avoid this kind of situation while you are on the path of healing and save your heart and body for a meaningful connection with someone who truly cares about you when the time is right.

Be Humble & Learn From Your Experience

Finally, and arguably one of the most important aspects of getting over a breakup in a healthy way, is to take the time to reflect on all you have gone through and try to learn from it.

Being humble enough to recognize your mistakes, even if they were not entirely yours, can help you in the long run by preventing you from repeating patterns and situations that may not be good for you.

It can also act as an invaluable source of self-growth, as it allows you to see the experience from a different perspective and recognize any changes you may need to make to ensure that you won’t suffer the same heartache again.

Take this time to develop new hobbies, assess your physical health, find out how you can take care of your mental well-being, and ask yourself the tough questions about what you really want out of life.

This will help build a new, improved version of yourself that is capable of dealing with stress in a smarter and more mature way so that you can be ready for when your next relationship comes around.

Closing Thoughts

Breaking up is always a difficult process, no matter who you are or what the circumstances were.

This being said it is important to recognize that you have the power to make this experience a valuable lesson for yourself and use it as an opportunity for growth.

By following the tips outlined in this guide, you will be sure to get on the right path to healing and eventually find the closure you need to move on. Good luck!

Recommended Articles