Overcoming your insecurities is the most rewarding and liberating gift you can give yourself. But that doesn’t make the process any less intimidating.
We all have days when we feel we can take on the world. On the other hand, we also have those days when our insecurities stand between us and the thing we’ve prayed for as long as we can remember.
And while feeling insecure about starting a new job is expected, these emotions can often get the best of us and become so deeply rooted in our brains to the point where they dictate our behavior on a daily basis and leave us feeling like we don’t deserve the amazing things we wish for.
But overcoming your insecurities isn’t a simple process, and as with anything in life, it demands persistence, dedication, and consistency.
Combine that with taking the right steps toward self-improvement, and you’ll be well on your way to feeling unstoppable.
Therefore, if you are ready to play the long game and reap the long-term benefits of facing your insecurities head-on, here are a few tips to help you along the way:
Make an Effort to Identify the Source of Your Insecurity
Insecurities are emotions that, more often than not, have some background to them.
We often can’t quite pinpoint what happened to us that led to feeling insecure, and to many, these emotions just appeared out of nowhere and stuck around.
This can partly be because our brain is exceptionally efficient in self-protection, often hiding away events that were hurtful in our past or memories of situations that made us feel embarrassed or ashamed.
You probably know how uncomfortable, intrusive thoughts about an embarrassing moment can be; even if you don’t remember the memory, you still shiver and cringe when an associated thought pops into your head.
However, although uncomfortable, digging into these thoughts might help you understand what caused your insecurities in the first place, as making an effort to identify the source of your insecurities can be helpful in overcoming them.
Therefore, taking a few minutes of your day to reflect and think about possible causes of your insecurities in the form of uncomfortable, embarrassing, and hurtful memories can provide you with invaluable insight into yourself and can possibly be a good way to start tackling these worries head-on.
Challenge Negative Thoughts That Lead to Self-Doubt
Laying in bed at night filled with anxiety that stems from negative thoughts about your job, looks, or life, in general, is all too familiar for many of us.
However, one of the best ways to cope with these thoughts is to challenge them and try to improve the situation as much as possible.
Instead of trying to force yourself to sleep and forget or hoping that aimlessly scrolling on social media will trick your brain into feeling better, try writing down the thoughts that are bothering you and then make a list of possible solutions or helpful steps you can take to make yourself feel better.
By writing out the thoughts that are bothering you and then actively trying to find ways to fix them, you will be taking a proactive approach to dealing with your insecurities rather than hoping they will magically disappear.
It’s important to remember that these thoughts are often rooted in our insecurities, so being proactive is a great way to start addressing them.
Find Ways to Connect With Yourself
Finding ways to connect with yourself can be a useful way to dig deeper into your emotions, thoughts, goals, and beliefs.
Whether it is through journaling, drawing, taking walks, being active, or simply meditating, these activities can help you reflect on yourself and your emotions in a more mindful way.
By taking the time to truly connect with yourself, you can begin to understand what it is that makes you feel insecure and more likely than not, you will be forced into finding solutions for these issues, as our brains don’t like to dwell too long on negative emotions and evolution has made us seek out solutions, instead.
Connecting with yourself can be an invaluable tool for overcoming insecurities and taking the necessary steps to help you become more confident.
Make Time for Yourself
We all live busy lives, and while connecting with yourself might sound good, we often avoid these situations due to the fear of discomfort but also tend to give ourselves the excuse that we don’t have the time for doing whatever activity will allow us to be with our thoughts for too long.
This is when you have to make an effort to make time for yourself. Don’t just go for a walk or do a fifteen-minute meditation session to tick it off your to-do list, as this is rarely enough due to the fact that it takes about fifteen minutes to stop paying attention to your surroundings and get into the flow.
Additionally, doing these activities just for the sake of doing them will have you fall off the wagon quicker than even giving yourself a chance to figure out whether that activity is for you or that you should try something else instead.
Instead, prioritize yourself by making longer time for yourself and immerse yourself in whatever activity you are doing.
This can have a hugely positive impact on your confidence and self-esteem, as you will never know what you are capable of until you give yourself the time and opportunity to find out.
Nurture Relationships With Supportive People
“You’re the average of the five people spend the most time with” is a quote that has been around for quite some time as it perfectly encapsulates the idea that we are a reflection of the people we surround ourselves with.
This is why having a small circle of supportive friends or family members can make a world of difference in the way you carry yourself and think of yourself.
Unfortunately, we aren’t able to completely avoid toxic people, as we can’t control our environment, and many of us come into contact with them through work or just grabbing a coffee, but what we can do is make sure that the people we choose to spend time with are supportive and will be there to pick us up when we are feeling down and celebrate our successes with us, but are also there to provide constructive criticism if we are making mistakes.
These relationships can be a great source of confidence and self-esteem, as being around supportive people will help you see yourself in the best light, which will help improve your confidence in the short term, or see your flaws and recognize them as areas you could improve in, which will help improve your confidence in the long term.
Find Ways to Embrace & Welcome Changes
Unplanned changes are the root of increased insecurities for many people.
Things like suddenly starting a new job, moving to a new city, or just going through life-altering changes can take an exceptional toll on our confidence, resulting in decreased self-esteem.
What can help here is finding ways to embrace and welcome these changes as opportunities to learn, grow, and become a better version of ourselves.
One way to look at it is that these changes are happening for us, not to us, and every new situation is a learning opportunity, no matter how awful things may seem in the beginning.
Now, there are times when people experience devastating life changes, so saying that you can easily go through something like this is far from the truth, but at least having an open mind and being willing to learn and understand the ways bad situations can positively affect you in the long run can make a huge difference and help you heal through these circumstances.
By welcoming and embracing changes, we can create a mindset that will help us get through difficult times, thus improving our self-esteem and confidence in the process.
Use a Good Ole Pen & Paper to Scribble Down Your Thoughts
Screens are not only damaging to our eyes but have an exceptional ability to kill the charm of thought-dumping.
They are designed to keep us entertained and do the exact opposite of helping us focus on what’s truly important in our lives.
This is why grabbing a pen and paper and scribbling down your thoughts when feeling insecure about something can be incredibly helpful.
The average person writes slower than they type, which can be an advantage when writing down your thoughts, as it will give you more time to think and reflect on them and initiate an honest conversation with yourself.
Additionally, writing can help you digest and remember better whatever it is that you are writing while also boosting creativity and promoting an incredibly therapeutic feeling, which are things that can make you feel better in the moment.
Start Small & Set Attainable Goals for Yourself
Insecurities often stem from setting overly ambitious goals for ourselves and not staying realistic about what we can achieve.
Imagine you are someone who wants to become a fitness influencer in the next two months. Instead of focusing your efforts on that and feeling insecure about starting it, you can break down your plan into smaller goals and start from there.
For example, you can start by setting a goal of exercising for 20 minutes daily and eating healthier meals. Once that becomes easy and routine, you can set a new goal of attending ten fitness classes in the next two months.
These goals are more attainable and progress-motivated, rather than wondering why you are not an influencer yet.
By setting attainable goals and making progress towards them, you can begin to trust that if you stay consistent and keep working hard, you can attain any goal.
And that sense of confidence that you can reach your goals, no matter how small or big, will give you a significant boost of self-esteem and help you overcome your insecurities of not being good enough when it comes to achieving your ambitions.
By approaching things with this mindset, you will be able to reduce the feeling of imposter syndrome and start to feel more capable and confident in your abilities.
Setting and achieving small goals will not only boost your confidence but also help you stay focused on your larger goal, eventually leading to success through dedication and hard work.
Be Kind to Yourself & Celebrate Even the Little Victories
We are often our worst enemies when it comes to self-talk and comparing ourselves to others.
But don’t forget that this self-sabotaging practice not only makes you feel bad at the moment but also helps build up the mountain of insecurities you’re trying to climb and overcome.
Therefore, to build your self-esteem, practicing self-compassion and acknowledging even the little victories is essential.
This doesn’t mean that a single win has to be celebrated with a huge party, but rather that every small step you make towards your goal should be acknowledged and appreciated.
Additionally, this doesn’t mean that you should stop challenging yourself and trying to better your skills, but instead, reflect on your progress while planning on where to go next.
This way, you can stay motivated and focused without feeling overwhelmed or insecure about your current progress.
Setting standards for every aspect of your life can help you remember what you are trying to achieve with the goals you set for yourself and where you want to see yourself in the future.
Therefore, don’t be afraid to set standards for yourself. Whether that’s speaking up when someone close to you is making you feel down or insecure, or vowing only to spend time surrounding yourself with high-quality people, finding a job where you will be treated fairly and with respect, setting financial goals for the future, working on your self-care, or simply vowing to only spend time on projects that bring you joy and taking a break when feeling overwhelmed.
Setting standards may very well be an intimidating thing to do at first, especially if you come to the realization that you might have to cut a close friend out of your life or tell a loved one that their behavior isn’t appropriate, but in order to build your self-esteem and overcome insecurities, it is a crucial step towards success.
Prepare Yourself for Setbacks
Embarking on a self-improvement journey, especially one that pretty much requires you to dig deeper through your traumas and memories, is definitely not an easy task, and setbacks are very likely to occur.
This is why preparing yourself for challenges that may result in failures and moments of discomfort is critical.
Being aware of the possibility that things may not always turn out how you planned and preparing yourself to pick up again, no matter what happens, will help you stay positive and focused.
Therefore, it’s always a good idea to write down a few notes to yourself and reflect on what you’ve already achieved and the dreams you want to accomplish.
Additionally, spare some paper for those uncomfortable moments where you will write down your feelings and go back to them at a later date, allowing you to understand yourself better and grow from the experience.
For example, if you have finally gathered the courage to send an email to a publication and get rejected, it’s completely normal to feel discouraged.
But use this opportunity to reflect on what could have been done better and how you can use the experience to improve not only your skills but also your self-confidence.
Even a simple tweak in your pitch can make a difference the next time you decide to try again, so pay attention to the small things and how you can improve on them to achieve the big goals you have set for yourself.
Facing and learning from your insecurities through self-compassion, setting standards, and preparing yourself for challenges are all essential steps to overcoming your insecurities as a woman.
Although it may seem difficult at first, don’t forget to take the time to acknowledge your accomplishments and successes as you go, even if it’s a small victory.
Remember, self-improvement isn’t a linear journey, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you stumble here and there. Just focus on taking small steps forward, no matter the size, and you’ll be sure to make progress in no time.